People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to
those of us who do.
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's
relativity.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's:
She changes it more often
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be
ugly.
No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
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